Kirk here. Every April 1st, I’ve been publishing April Fools’ posts on the page for many years now. This year, however, I’m afraid I just can’t do it. You see, to be honest, I’m not well. I’ve been diagnosed with a degenerative cognitive disease: ICVS (Inane Cat Video Syndrome). My docs tell me that it’s caused by the overexposure to infinitely scrolling videos of cute kittens, babies laughing at sneezes, goats screaming like humans, and hamsters eating tiny burritos. It has left me unable to focus on any single task for more than . . oh, look, raccoons stealing things . . . that’s so cute! And those dogs in costumes are absolutely adorable . . . um . . . well . . bye!