Kirk here. I recently got the feedback you see in the image about a stupid mistake I made in a post. I wrote “brake” when I should have written “break.” I must admit that I do this sort of thing far more often than I should – not only on this page but in other contexts as well. No one is perfect but I seem to have a particularly strong tendency to make such errors. So, my initial reaction was “Oh no. I did it again. Well, it’s good that he told me about it so that I can fix it.” Then, the import of the second sentence sunk in. Basically, I was being told that because I have a tendency to make such errors, I’m not qualified to teach English – an ad hominem attack. In other words, unlike the first sentence, the second sentence placed the focus on me and what I am or am not qualified to do, not on what I wrote.
In October of this year, Kumamoto International will celebrate its 20th anniversary. The group existed as a mailing list for a little more than 10 years and then in 2011, I started this Facebook page. Over the years, the mailing list and page have been relatively peaceful but, from time to time, we’ve had problems. One thing I’ve learned from dealing with conflicts that have occurred here is that ad hominem attacks (insults, etc.) have no place here. Even focused, reasonable criticisms can sting – especially when they point to a real problem, as was the case with the comment about my use of “brake,” given my long history of typos and stupid errors. Adding a “dig” or an insult or saying, in effect, that you should shut up because you’re not qualified to speak only serves to create a hostile atmosphere. So, I draw the line at ad hominem attacks. Here’s the address of an earlier post about this policy:
https://www.facebook.com/Kumamotoi/posts/1676434289096663
Generally speaking, I believe in dialogue. Thus far, however, I haven’t had any success in cautioning people about ad hominem attacks after such comments have already been made. I probably haven’t gone about things as skillfully as I might (though I try to control myself sometimes my emotions get the better of me), but, for whatever reason, I’ve never had a person whom I warned about an ad hominem comment respond by saying something like “I see your point. I’ll be careful to focus on the content, not the person, from now on.” In each case, the person I’ve cautioned has responded negatively, either with more blatant ad hominem vitriol, troll-like activity, condescending comments, or some combination thereof.
So, in the future, I think I’ll refrain from trying to get people who engage in ad hominem attacks to see the error of their ways. Instead, I’ll probably just ban them, without explanation. That may seem to be rather Draconian and undemocratic but, for me, there’s an element of self-preservation. Interactions on this page that become hostile really take a toll on me, both emotionally and in terms of the time I wind up spending on them.
In writing this, I’m reminded of a comment I got in response to an essay I wrote about name order: “Suck it up buttercup! Play by the local rules!”
https://www.facebook.com/Kumamotoi/photos/a.129499733790134/2639886286084787/
The part about playing by local rules is OK; it’s a legitimate opinion, though I don’t think the issue is that simple. The problem is with the condescension evident in the use of the term “buttercup” (implying that my personal weakness and oversensitivity is the real problem). I’m not sure that “zero tolerance” is the right approach for such language, especially in regard to people who have been participating in Kumamoto International for some time. On the other hand, I don’t plan to be particularly patient with rhetoric like this because I see the intent as being basically the same as ad hominem attacks – belittling the person making the argument instead of focusing on the argument itself.
Finally, I’d like to say that I recognize that people who have made ad hominem comments are not necessarily bad people. In fact, I assume that they are people who, in the right context, can be caring and considerate, and who are loved by the people close to them. I don’t condemn them as human beings but, if they have demonstrated a willingness to insult me or other members of this community in order to express some point of sentiment, I’m not willing to continue to facilitate such behavior by providing access to this forum. I don’t like being the target of such behavior and I don’t want to subject other members of this community to it either.
I hope the Kumamoto International community (other editors and readers) will approve of this approach. If you don’t approve, please feel free to explain your reservations in a comment. My only request is that you focus your comments on the merits and demerits of the approach – not on what a lousy, incompetent person I am. ;)